QUOTATIONS

Donald trump wants to paint the white house..  He calls for quotation..  Chinese guy quoted 3 million.  European guy quoted 7 million..
a Nigerian guy quoted 10 million.. 
Trump asked chinese guy.."..how did u quote 3 million..?"  Chinese guy replied .. "1 million for paint 1 million for labour 1 million profit.."  Trump asked european guy.. He replied-".. 3 million for good paint 2 million for labour 2 million profit.."   
Trump asked Nigerian guy.. He replied..      .."..4 million for you.. 3 million for me.. ..  .. and we will give 3 million to the chinese guy and ask him to paint..!!"  😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nigerian got the contract ! 👍

YES HE SAID THAT!

LAUGH OUT WITH RHYNO

A man sent a message to his wife
1st:
*Husband's sms:* "Honey please wash those clothes I brought out of d wardrobe".
*#no reply*
*Husband's 2nd sms:* "And pls cook my favorite soup so I can eat coz am damn hungry"
*#no reply*
*Husband 3rd sms:* "Darling, Im promoted and given 2 return tickets (me and u) to America and Dubai plus all expenses covered for 3months"
*Wife:* "Are u Serious?"😳😍🙉🙊
*Husband:* "No, i just wanted to be sure u got all the previous messages!"

If you are broke and your girlfriend is paying your Rent,bros it's your role to Moan and Scream during Sex,you cant be useless both day And Night.

- 

Ekpo Richard Rhyno Leonardo

ORDER!

Yesterday was my first day entering a
court. The Judge Shouted "Order,
Order" I Was so excited so i shouted
Back " fried rice with chicken, two
bottles of Guinness malt and a
chilled glass of special ice mineral
water ”Am Now Locked up In A Dark
Room. Please am confused, is it
where they will bring my order?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

KABOOOM!

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

JOKE OF THE DAY!

Guys the best way to punish your Dad is by joining priesthood

so that he can call you "father" and you will answer him
"my son god loves you"

JOKE OF THE DAY!!!

I fainted 5 times 2day when I overheard an Ekiti girl say ''Beauty is in the eyes of the DECODER.''
Immediately I woke up, she told the guy who tried to correct her that ''SCIENCE is the best answer for a fool like you''.

My dear, shift let me faint again.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

I hate it when somebody tells a girl
“You Don’t Look Like You Can Cook”
😟😨😨😂
I mean, is she supposed to braid her hair with vegetables and decorate her ears with tomatoes and onions just to have the “Cook Look??? “😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
**********************
A man returns a book to the library,
banged it on the counter and yelled, “I read this entire novel; there are too many names of people and no story at all!”
The Librarian looks up and responds,
“Idiot! So you were the one who took the Attendance book?"
😳😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

LOL!

Why is Sokoto State eradicating property?

WALKING ON SUNSHINE

KEEP MY MONEY

One Fine day at UBA bank,  Bauchi, in Bauchi state, a Fulani man goes to the ATM and withdraws all his money. Then goes inside the same bank and deposits the same money he withdrew, telling the bank officer that;
"My money is not safe outside in the ATM...people are just withdrawing anyhow and they may end up withdrawing my money. Keep my money inside the bank, please". 

True or False

- Prince Paul Goroh

WHATSAPP GROUPS

Advice for members of whatsapp groups and administrators.

DESPACITO - THIS IS HOW WE DO IT ELSEWHERE

Despacito Dance

PICK A NUMBER

1. Most of the guys that say they don't date
fat girls have fat mothers.
Be humble like your dad
_________________
2. It's better to sit in a bar thinking about God
than to sit in a church thinking about beer
_______________
3. Have you ever been next to people who
gossip so much that you're even scared of
leaving them cause you know you're next
_______________
4. The man who marries a beautiful woman
and the farmer who grows corn by the
roadside have thesame problem...
__________________
5. Some females are so afraid of killing
cockroaches but they already did 5 abortions
__________
6. You will see a 13 year old girl posting stuff
like "I want to forget everything and move on"
forget what little sister?...
(The multiplication table?)
_____________
7. A man is the head of the family, & a
woman is the neck that turns the head
(smiles)
_______________
8. Treat every part of your towel nicely
because the part that wipes your buttocks
today may wipe your face tomorrow (Real
fact)
_________________
9. If a girl dumps you because you don't
have money and after you have made money...
She comes back begging...
My brother... Forgive her... Promise her
marriage... Tell her family that you want to
renovate their house... Remove their roof and
DISAPPEAR
_____________
10. When you see a poor man eating chicken,
he is either sick or the chicken was sick ( I
am a witness)
Which number makes u smile???



*number 9 is strongly discouraged.

MY OGA SACK ME DIS MORNING - I NO KNOW WEYTIN I DO AM!!!🤷🏾‍♂🤷🏾‍♂

Ok, na like dis e take start.
Last week my Oga send me go buy MTN N500.
So Mama Tochukwu get only N400 and N100 Mtn; she no get N500 card.
I come back house tell my Oga say I no see N500 card but dem get only N400 and N100. My Oga begin shout at me, "Mr. Twocantok, are you mad?! Why can't you use your head for once? I beg go and buy the N400 and N100 card joor!!!"
Shame catch me die!!
So dis morning my Oga send me again to buy slippers for him... Say him na size is size 9.
Now, Mama Lewis no get Size 9; but she get Size 4,  Size 5, Size 7 and Size 2.
So I no wan make my Oga shout me again... I come use my head for once and bought Size 2 and Size 7 for my Oga.
Now my Oga has sacked me and him no gree tell me weytin I do wrong. No reason at all.
I beg make you epp me ask why him sack me! Abi Size 7 and Size 2 no be Size 9???
As I de talk so, na  from Motor Park I dey oooo!


#copied!

WHY DO WE MAKE FACES WHEN POSING FOR PICTURES?

I look at ladies images in pictures and they are either raising their eyebrows or pouting their lips. I look at guys in pictures and they don't make faces. Abeg, what really is the reason for the face ladies make in pictures? They want to look different? Perhaps their parents are online and they don't want to be recognized. Or does it make them more beautiful? I'm yet to see renowned beauty queens making faces during photoshoot and on the runway.
Please I need clarification.